As a child, I had very little experience with death. My parents are both first children of first children, so most of the older people (grandparents, etc.) are still alive in my family; that is to say that my family is pretty young for most part. I remember going to my last great-grandfather's funeral, as well as his wife's (my great-grandmother's) funeral a few years later.
I never really thought this was odd until I started to learn ages of some of my friends parents and grandparents and realized that my parents and grandparents are comparatively young; perhaps as coming from a mostly military background, the men in my family had stable careers earlier, more conducive to a family.
My first real experience with death was over the last summer, when one of my best and closest friends committed suicide. It affected me in ways I myself probably do not know. To know that he will never send me another email and that no call I give him will ever be answered is such a blow to me even now. Remembering all the times that I shared with him, the experiences and conversations that will never be repeated but in my own mind, it brings me to tears. He inspired me to play better, treat other people better, enjoy life more, and show bravery more. He changed my life in ways that I never told him, and knowing that fact, as well as the permanence of his absence from this world, is simply...words fail me.
I've met many people since coming of age who've had the horrible experience of fighting cancer, a few having battled it multiple times. Meeting them and hearing their stories of coming closer to the thought of their own death than any of the rest of us. As many of them have told me, it opened their eyes to the important things in life. I sometimes wonder if I know the important things, or if it takes coming close to your own death to make you see the light.
I salute those of you who have fought and survived, no, just fought. I deeply respect each of you and I pray for comfort for those of you who have lost ones, and I pray health and peace of mind to those of you who have survived the fight.
I dedicate this post to you all, and also to James Warren. James, your flame in this world will never be extinguished as long as I draw breath. Shine on, you crazy diamond.
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4 comments:
It is heart wrenching to hear stories about lives affected by losing a loved one to cancer or in another way but it is comforting to know that God has not let these hardships pass without giving hope and inspiration to others! Thanks for the the thoughts!
Thanks for sharing. That was beautiful.
Knowing and hearing about all the terrible things that happen in this world, only makes me more thankful that we have a God is who bigger than it all. We have someone who is in control and He'll never leave us. What a comfort!
Mike, that was beautifully written. I appreciate the way you described James. His father and I wonder so much about why? why? why? Did James somehow go down the wrong path? Was there something evil or sinister in his life? But over and over, we receive messages like yours that tell how he touched someone else's life and about his heart of gold. I know that no matter what overcame him in his last few moments of life, that he was loved. That whatever pain he was feeling in his heart, he was walking into the open arms of a loving Heavenly Father. I know his dad and I loved him more than any parent could or probably should love a child. He truly was the apple of my eye, my true pride and joy, and every other cliche to the nth power! Thank you for your beautiful expression of friendship to my son. I know that he truly admired and loved you, Mike. Thank you for being his friend to the end! Donnie and I pray you and your family are doing well!
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